Memory Home: When the Place That Held You Is Gone

In this emotionally rich episode of The Psychology of Us , Professor RJ Starr explores the powerful concept of the memory home —a place that holds your story, your safety, and your sense of self—even if it’s no longer there.

Inspired by a quiet, poignant scene from Gilmore Girls (Season 2, Episode 8), where Lorelai Gilmore describes the Independence Inn as “more of a home than my parents’ house ever was,” this episode unpacks the psychology behind the spaces we emotionally attach to—and what happens when we lose them.

Why do certain places live inside us long after we’ve left them? What does it mean to be emotionally displaced? And how can we rebuild a sense of home later in life, especially if we never truly had one?

Drawing on attachment theory, environmental psychology, and narrative identity, Professor Starr invites listeners to reflect on their own memory homes—the spaces that shaped them—and offers practical tools for reclaiming belonging, rootedness, and emotional safety.

This is an episode for anyone who has ever felt unmoored, nostalgic, or quietly grief-stricken by the loss of a space that once held their becoming. Whether you're a fan of Gilmore Girls or simply navigating the emotional weight of change, this conversation will speak to the part of you still longing for home.

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